DISCLAIMER: This recipe is in no way healthy. Failure to follow through with recipe protocol will result in immediate loss of friends, family, and dignity.
So don’t make any healthy substitutions.
You’ll ruin it.
Got it? Good.
This is what we’re making today:
Well… sort of. I don’t add nuts, and I switch up the measurements from this card a little bit. So I guess these are 6-layer bars. But we call them seven-layer bars. It’s catchier, don’t you think?
Anyway… Start by crushing 12 honey graham cracker rectangles into crumbs. I used a Magic Bullet, but feel free to unleash your anger and crumble them in a plastic baggie with the heavy instrument of your choice.
See how finely crumbled they are? That’s what we want.
Stir the crumbs into 1 stick of melted butter. Use unsalted or salted, it doesn’t matter. I used salted because that’s the one I saw first in the fridge.
Aren’t I trustworthy?
Press the mixture into a 9 x 13-inch glass pan.
Carbs and butter. Yummy. And it gets better!
Sprinkle on 1 cup of butterscotch chips and 1 cup of semisweet chocolate chips.
Now pour 1 small can of sweetened condensed milk over the top. Make sure to spread it evenly- don’t forget the edges!
Did you know they used to feed sweetened condensed milk to babies? Yuck! It tastes really, really bad. But when you cook it, something magical happens!
I took AP chemistry, but I still don’t know what it is.
And sprinkle over 1 1/2 cups of sweetened, shredded coconut. The kind in the blue bag, you know?
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until the coconut is slightly browned and the bars are somewhat set. They won’t be totally hard, but it’s better to underbake than overbake them.
Now freeze them until they’re hard. This is the most difficult part. I’m sorry. But when they’re done, you’ll have this…
Totally worth the wait. Make these today!